Thomas Locke can find anything. You know the hurricane that hit a while back? Word is he found the butterfly that started it. So, when a desperate Veronica Drysdale hires Locke to find her missing husband, it makes perfect sense. Except the world of Thomas Locke doesn’t make sense. It puts monsters under the bed, makes stars fall from the sky and leads little children to worship the marvels of road-works. This world also hides from Veronica a past far darker and stranger than she could ever have imagined. To learn the truth, Veronica is going to have to lose everything. And that’s where Locke’s shadowy business partner Lafarge comes in… Before we begin I have a couple of questions. How do you feel about novels that feature a character reincarnated as a toaster? Would you have a problem if the toaster was called Leonard? If you have issues with either of these questions I would advise reading no further. I can tell you now, that this novel is not for you. Perhaps you might wish to consider doing something else instead? I’ve been told gardening is a very popular pastime? Ahh your still here, jolly good. You’re interested aren’t…

You may have heard that the world was supposed to end last weekend. Based on the fact that you are reading this post, I think we can all safely assume that it didn’t. It struck me that predictions can be, at best, awfully fickle things. If only there was a book that didn’t mess about, something that took all the guess work out of things and just made The Apocalypse simple. According to the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter – the world’s only totally reliable guide to the future – the world will end on a Saturday . Next Saturday, in fact. Just after tea… Good Omens was originally published way back in the halcyon days of nineteen ninety. At the time, I was a thoroughly impressionable sixteen year old and I think, in hindsight, that I can now squarely point the finger of blame for my obsession with the end of the world on this novel. The premise is simple, the Antichrist is born on Earth and following a baby switch that quickly devolves into farce, he ends up with a family in a sleepy little village in England rather than as the son of a US…

By way of some sort of explanation – In an effort to expand the my reading horizons I’ve decided that it was high time read something that was not a novel. Quirk Books very kindly provided what I think is some sort of self help/how to guide? The results, I think, speak for themselves…. Pirates, by nature, aren’t terribly literate. As a consequence, no book can hope to fully prepare the pampered, modern-day layabout for the lusty life of a pirate. This book,however, will put you on the right path – the path to adeventure, treasure, glory, mystery, and, every so often, the bottom of a barrel of rum. Avast me hearties, tis I – Captain Pablo Cheesecake on the good ship The Eloquent Page. Being as I am the very definition of a modern-day layabout I knew that this book would assist in answering all my pirate related questions. At may surprise all of ye unworthy swabs but since I was knee-high to a Jolly Roger I have always been a fan of all things piratical. I still remember fondly the first time I marveled at Burt Lancaster swashing his buckle in The Crimson Pirate. Since that day, I have…

Please note this review contains minor spoilers if you haven’t read book one in the trilogy, The Sword of Albion.  Also you are missing a real treat. Alone and on the run, Elizabethan England’s greatest spy must defeat a dark and bloody plot. Or die… The Scar Crow Men by Mark Chadbourn is the second novel in the Swords of Albion series. It sees the return of Will Swyfte, gentleman spy, and his ongoing battle with the dark forces that threaten Great Britain during the reign of Elizabeth the First. Two years have passed since the events in the first novel and Swyfte is facing troubles both at home and abroad. Different factions vie for Elizabeth’s favour and in the midst of all this political maneuvering one of Will closest friends is killed. While members of the royal household continue to plot and scheme the Unseelie Court, the Fay, have begun to tear down the magical defenses that protect all humans from their evil. They have unleashed the Scar Crow Men to help bring about a shift in power that will allow them control everything. There are a couple of things that I think elevates Mark Chadbourn’s writing beyond the…

They came from the North, and the land fell. Kell’s resistance is driving the fiends from the land. But now a far greater power has come into play. Please note this review contains some minor spoilers if you have not read the first two parts of The Clockwork Vampire Chronicles. I have thought about this long and hard and I have come to a shocking conclusion – I hate Andy Remic.  Why? Because he is just such a supremely talented sod. He has proven that he can turn his hand to science fiction, horror and fantasy. As an aside – I have a sneaking suspicion that he is attempting to become the king of all genre fiction. Every time I think he can’t possibly top his last literary effort he goes ahead and does just that. Recently I read and reviewed Serial Killers Incorporated, and was impressed with its dark brutality. A scant few weeks has passed and he has yet another novel ready to assault the senses of an unsuspecting public. The latest addition to his ever-growing canon of work, Vampire Warlords, is the third book in The Clockwork Vampire Chronicles. This novel picks up the story in the…

A dead hero opens his eyes. To his horror, he finds he has been raised to serve as the undead minion of a desperate necromancer called Mordius. Our hero’s body has been stolen from a battlefield contested by two kingdoms that have been at war for generations. No one knows why warfare is now the way of life, but what is apparent is that the dark forces vie for dominion over the entire realm. When it comes to fantasy my needs are simple – heroes and villains, kingdom versus kingdom, gods and monsters. I’m looking for groups of disparate characters thrown into a situation that they can’t control. Add in a quest to locate a magical macguffin that will solve all their problems and I’m sold and I’m pleased to say that this book covers all these bases. Necromancer’s Gambit by A J Dalton is the first book in the Flesh and Bone trilogy. In it the reader is introduced to the inhabitants of the warring kingdoms, Dur Memnos and Accritania.  The necromancer, Mordius, is searching for a mystical object that will help to end the war and bring about a much needed peace. Saltar, the hero raised from the dead, makes…

Kings and queens, knights and renegades, liars, lords and honest men. All will play the Game of Thrones. Summers span decades. Winters can last a lifetime. And the struggle for the Iron Throne has begun. It will stretch from the south, where the heat breeds plot, lusts and intrigues; to the vast frozen north where a 700-foot wall of ice protects the kingdom from the dark forces that lie beyond. The Game of Thrones. You win, or you die. I’m not adverse to a massive doorstop of a novel. Peter F Hamilton, Stephen King, Frank Herbert have all written huge books that I have not only read but re-read numerous times. When it comes to A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin things are just slightly different. I have been promising myself that I would read the first book in the A Song of Ice and Fire saga for a long time. So long in fact that it became something of a personal Moby Dick, my literary equivalent of a great white whale. It got to the stage where I was a little intimidated by the whole thing and I never thought I would get around to reading…

Three Men. One Battle. No Heroes. The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie is a standalone novel set in the same world he created for the First Law trilogy. It follows the course of a single battle, over the period of three days, between the forces of the Union and the Northmen. The opposing armies have been dancing around one another for many months but in the valley of Osrung, they finally come together in a definitive clash. There are three main characters in the novel. Firstly there is Bremer dan Gorst, a disgraced master swordsman fighting in the Union army. He is attempting to reclaim his place in his King’s court and will stop at nothing in order to do so. Next is Curden Craw, a lifelong soldier in the army of the Northmen. He has reached the age where the appeal of battle is swiftly receding. His nerves and knees are shot and he wants nothing more than peace. Finally there is Prince Calder, considered a coward by many, he is only interested in power and how best to avoid getting involved in all the fighting. His father was once king of the Northmen and Calder continues to crave the…

From the moment I laid my eyes on the cover of  Vegas Knights by Matt Forbeck I had high hopes for what lay within. The cover boasts an eye-catching reworking of the famous Las Vegas sign and this perfectly sets the tone for what to expect. I’m glad to say that in this case my expectations were not only met, but also exceeded. The novel follows the fortunes of two college students as they attempt to break the bank in Vegas using magic. Jackson and Bill arrive in Sin City with plans to slowly, and as subtly as possible, win as much money as they can from the all the casinos. Needless to say their plans go awry and in a little less than a twenty-four hours they are way out of their depth and embroiled in the midst of a magical turf war. The pair discover that Vegas is the center for all magic in the United States, and that stage magicians are actually real magical practitioneers hiding in plain sight. The majority of the city is controlled by a mysterious figure known as Mr. Weiss and Jackson and Bill’s get rich quick scheme brings them directly to his attention. He…

Gideon Coxall was a good solder but bad at everything else, until a roadside explosive device leaves him with one deaf ear and a British Army half-pension. So when he hears about the Valhalla Project , it’s like a dream come true. They are recruiting former service personnel for excellent pay, no questions asked, to take part in unspecified combat missions. The last thing Gid expects is to find himself fighting alongside ancient Viking gods. The world is in the grip of the worst winter ever known, and Ragnarok – the fabled final conflict of the sagas – is looming. I knew nothing about The Pantheon Trilogy before I stumbled across The Age of Zeus in my local bookshop. The cover boasted an angry looking Anthony Hopkins look-a-like and a group of tooled up military types, I was intrigued. When I learned the story detailed the return of the ancient gods of Greece in the modern era I was sold. Fortunately my gamble paid off and I was treated to a fantastic read. The Age of Ra, which is in fact the first in this trilogy, soon followed and once again I was not disappointed. I should point out here…

I’m very lucky in that I have had the chance to read some excellent novels in the past twelve months. I also took the plunge and launched The Eloquent Page back in July so I thought that now we are creeping towards the end of 2010 I would take the opportunity to reveal my literary highlights of the year. Not all of the books listed below were published in 2010 but I read them this year so as far as I’m concerned that meets my flimsy attempt at criteria. The books that I have reviewed on the site contain links back to the original reviews. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larrson – Brutal, daring and utterly gripping. Some of the subject matter is harrowing but once the story gets going you will be completely hooked. A superior thriller that establishes a hard as nails heroine in Lisbeth Salander. Well worth checking out the original Swedish language film as well. The Road to Bedlam by Mike Shevdon – I purchased Mike Shevdon’s debut novel Sixty One Nails on a whim and was totally captivated by the story. The sequel continues developing the tale of Niall and Blackbird. This…