LIVE IN THE SADDLE. DIE ON THE HOG.
Such is the creed of the half-orcs dwelling in the Lot Lands. Sworn to hardened brotherhoods known as hoofs, these former slaves patrol their unforgiving country astride massive swine bred for war. They are all that stand between the decadent heart of noble Hispartha and marauding bands of full-blood orcs.
Jackal rides with the Grey Bastards, one of eight hoofs that have survived the harsh embrace of the Lots. Young, cunning and ambitious, he schemes to unseat the increasingly tyrannical founder of the Bastards, a plague-ridden warlord called the Claymaster. Supporting Jackal’s dangerous bid for leadership are Oats, a hulking mongrel with more orc than human blood, and Fetching, the only female rider in all the hoofs.
When the troubling appearance of a foreign sorcerer comes upon the heels of a faceless betrayal, Jackal’s plans are thrown into turmoil. He finds himself saddled with a captive elf girl whose very presence begins to unravel his alliances. With the anarchic blood rite of the Betrayer Moon close at hand, Jackal must decide where his loyalties truly lie, and carve out his place in a world that rewards only the vicious.
I’m always on the lookout for new fantasy novels that offer something just a little bit different. The latest novel from Jonathan French promises exactly that. I don’t imagine for a second anyone who is a regular reader of The Eloquent Page will be surprised that a book called The Grey Bastards caught my eye.
Our protagonist, Jackal, is all piss and vinegar. Keen to prove himself he is a member of The Grey Bastards, a half-orc hoof (gang), who eek out an existence in the Lot Lands. Jackal feels the time has come where he should be the Bastard’s leader. Sometimes impetuous and often hot headed, it is interesting to watch the evolution of Jackal’s character as the plot unfolds. He doesn’t always do the right thing, but he always learns from his mistakes. The Jackal at the beginning of the novel is noticeably different from the Jackal at the novel’s end.
Then there is Oats, Jackal’s childhood friend and surrogate brother. Loyal to a fault, Oats is the muscle that accompanies Jackal’s brains. I loved the back and forth between these two. There is that sense of easy camaraderie that only exists with implicit trust. Oats will gladly follow Jackal to the bitter end, irrespective of where that may lead.
There is also Fetch. The only female member of the Bastards. Her quick thinking and skill with a bow has ensured she has more than earned her place in the hoof. The only problem is that she feels constantly compelled to prove her continued worth. Not a huge surprise really, turns out half-orcs are not the most enlightened bunch when it comes to equality.
The other members of the Grey Bastards are all just as memorable. I could happily waffle about them endlessly, but I shall refrain for fear of spoiling any surprises.
The Grey Bastards patrol their patch of the countryside on their hogs. To be clear, we’re talking war boars not motorcycles here. Offering protection to a local village and a brothel, they are the closest that the area has to an army. That said, the Bastards aren’t exactly what you would call law-abiding. The have their own code of honour, so everything else is viewed more as a guideline than a rule they have to follow. There is most definitely a rebellious streak running through the heart go the group. The Bastards relish their freedom and will happily fight to the death to defend it.
The life of a half-orc in the Lot Lands is undoubtedly a tough one. Though they call it home it is a dangerous and bloody place. Without exception, the other races that inhabit the world are troublesome. Elves are insular, arrogant and best avoided. Humans are a naturally shifty bunch, happy to use the Bastards any way the can. Full breed orcs are psychopaths, and halflings are religious zealots. There is also a mysterious creature known as The Sludge Man who is up to all manner of despicable deeds. Bonus points to Jonathan French for his inventive swearing when describing blood crazed centaurs. I’ll even admit to snorting tea out my nose when I read one particularly vivid expletive for the first time.
Some of the things I’ve mentioned may sound vaguely familiar. Perhaps you’re thinking that if you replaced half-orcs with bikers, and moved the location from the Lot Lands to southern California, the Bastards would probably be renamed something else. Perhaps the Sons? I rather suspect you might be right. French’s writing has some nice homages to its televisual forebear. The Sons of Anarchy* and The Grey Bastards are most definitely cut from the similar cloth. Put it this way, if you are not picturing Charlie Hunnam as Jackal, Ryan Hurst as Oats, Maggie Siff as Fetch, and Ron Perlman as the Claymaster by the books end, then there is quite clearly something wrong with you.
It turns out that biker culture is a pretty good fit with the fantasy genre. You know the sort of thing I’m talking about, all swaggering machismo and surly respect. Now that attitude isn’t going to cut it in the real world, but when it comes to half-orcs I reckon it’s damn near perfect. Used and abused, the Bastards, and by extension all the other hooves, are broken. They have been treated so badly it’s no surprise they are the way they are. Part outlaws, part mercenaries, they are used by humans as convenient shields. It’s probably just as well that they relish a good fight.
I really enjoyed The Grey Bastards. Jonathan French’s vision of half-orc society is down and dirty and bloody good fun. I can only hope that the Bastards return again in the future. Like the man says – Live in the saddle, and die on the hog.
I agonised over my musical recommendation for this novel. I could have gone for the easy option. There are seven soundtrack albums for Sons of Anarchy, but that felt a little too on the nose. I ended up listening to Biker Flick Vol 2 by Dan Zagor. It has lot of crunchy guitar and with tracks like Fast as an Arrow, Evil Hogs and The Lonesome Rider it felt spookily appropriate.
The Grey Bastards is published by Orbit and is available now.
*It will always be too soon Opie… too soon. Props to the fallen.
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